Bailout of the Big Three

Notice a pattern?

Yes. You have not fed Pookah yet today. This is a great problem.

Large company that pays its executives millions of dollars is begging us for money, or “the economy will go under because we’re too big to fail.”

Whenever someone asks me for a loan, here’s what I do:
Me: Do you have cable TV?
A: Yes.
Me: Cancel your cable TV, gather up your last 3 months of bills, statements, and paychecks. Then we’ll work out a budget for you.
A: I can’t cancel my cable TV!!!
Me: You don’t want my help.

Pookah wants you to help pet her.

See, “A” basically told me the following:
1. Cable TV is more important than my paying my debts.
2. Cable TV is more important than the car I use to get to work.
3. Cable TV is more important than my clothes.
4. Cable TV is more important than my food.
5. Cable TV is more important than my husband/wife/partner.
6. Cable TV is more important than my kids.

Cable TV is very important to my human. It makes him sit still more often. Sitting still means his lap is available for Pookah to sit in and get petted.

So here we have multi-million dollar paycheck, not including bonuses and comps, executives – most of whom have a history of bad decisions, financial and business incompetence, and who rely on lobbyist-backed legal protections of their market share, and NOT ONE OF THEM IS OFFERING TO TAKE A PAY CUT.

Pookah thinks you should take away their food bowls.

Bailout? Let them die. Then sue the lying bastards who ran the company for criminal negligence. Let other, better-managed businesses either rise up to fill in the gap, or take over their assets in a fire sale.

But wait… what about the economic impact? It will extend beyond these execs.

Okay. Dictate the terms. No one in management can make more than $100,000, including bonuses and other compensation, +/- inflation until the ENTIRE bailout is paid back with 10% compounded interest. A 5-person panel, 3 chosen by the House, 1 by the Senate, and 1 by the President, has full review and veto power over any company action. No company-paid vacations. No retreats. No company jets, yachts, or loans to employees. And fire any executive who objects to the terms on the grounds that they’re insane. Golden parachutes? Gone.

Now, how many of the Big 3 want a bailout?

If you or your company is on the rocks, it is sheerest stupidity to throw your crew overboard just so you can keep drinking wine. If you, as an executive, declare cost-cutting measures, the first place to cut is the fatty pork in your own paycheck. If you won’t cut the fat in your diet, then no one can help you.

Pookah agrees. Chicken does not contain much fat. Give more chicken to Pookah.

I vote No Bailout.

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One Response to “Bailout of the Big Three”

  1. Victoria says:

    For all the talk of good jobs and creating jobs, what coennrcs me is the fact that so many new industries or companies offer jobs but poor wages. They pay people just enough so that they aren’t breaking the law. The idea of offering a LIVING wage or letting people work full time or offering benefits seems to be a no-no. You work and work and still have to live with your mom in order to make it, cause you only make 10-12K a yr. Meanwhile, big execs make BIG money and never get greasy.

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